No matter, how old we are, how mature we become, I am pretty sure, none of us will ever be okay with being rejected. For which rejection feels more like taking a bullet straight through your brain.
Surprisingly, not just you and me, but even our super great-great-grandparents have experienced the fear of ostracism. Maybe now, we are so good to go alone but in our ancient times, it wasn’t pretty cool to find food, water, and shelter all by oneself. So, if a tribe or community abandoned someone, he is left with no option but die starving or get killed by wild animals. And this evolutionally explains why humans are wired to the bad vibes of rejection.
The only way to avoid rejection is by never expecting anything from anyone or by not developing any kind of feelings or being quiet (strictly entering into the no interaction zone), but no human being can do this. After all, we are social animals.
Getting rejected definitely sucks. Maybe you couldn’t move a bit or want to run away as fast as possible. Some may never feel hungry or eat loads due to stress, be unable to speak as it feels choking right there between the throat and heart and so on. But don’t worry everyone feels as bad as you do, so it is pretty common and you are not alone in this. It’s not that what happened is because of you alone and all you can do is feel devastated. No! Overcoming rejection is not pretending that nothing has happened or it doesn’t bother you in any way. It is all about accepting and moving on.
This article will let you know how to get past a rejection really quick and in a healthy way.
1. Don’t force a smile on yourself
Allow yourself to feel upset. There is no point in forcing yourself to smile when you are kind of dying inside. “Being tough” and “I can get through any situation easily” may be great for others to look but when you suppress your emotions instead of experiencing them, it wouldn’t help in the long run. You would end up being frustrated, depressed and burst into tears under your blanket. So admit and allow your emotions to be acknowledged.
Take your time to process the feelings and thoughts. The more often you try to push them away from your thoughts, the more often they pop up.
2. Ping your close or loved one
“Sometimes all a broken soul needs is to sit near by, given a tight hug and to be heard. For words do not heal all wounds.”
Embarrassment shouldn’t stop you from looking for your friends. They are not just going to give you all the emotional support that you need but they also let you know their perspective which is very important for one to know what has actually happened, what was your mistake and what can be done. You definitely can’t have a clear perspective when you are emotionally disturbed.
Doing this will also let you know that you are not alone. One may have rejected you but that doesn’t mean everyone is not gonna be around you anymore. And when you let your heart out, it would definitely not be much heavier comparatively.
3. Inner critic — The Devil! Don’t let him walk through the door
Once we get rejected, we don’t try to look upon the things we have to work on. Instead, we blame ourselves and fail to embrace our flaws.
The devilish inner critic whispers in our ears “It’s all because of your poor presenting skills, you aren’t attractive enough, you don’t know how to dress, you’re not witty and that’s why you got rejected and ended up as a loser”. I know it’s hard but don’t listen to it.
You know who you are. So, focus on things you should work on and not to that stupid voice with so much of negativity because it’s not entirely because of you, rejection happens.
4. Know that it’s not all about you
It’s very common to think you have been rejected because you have done something wrong and it’s all because of your mistake. But just know this, sometimes maybe they weren’t looking for the amazing things that you had, or they are still stuck up with their past trying hard to come out of it and move on, or maybe it didn’t spark or they might have even had their own doubts about themselves. So forgive them and understand there isn’t any point in blaming yourselves for the whole scenario. We can’t be harmonious with everyone too.
Instead, try to learn something new from every situation. This would definitely build up you into a different person for the good.
5. Focus on what you still have in your life
You have to know this, there is no point in terribly being upset and dwelling in thoughts about what has happened. This will just pull you down.
Instead, appreciate and focus on all the good things that are around you. You should be happy for having people who really care about you, for the roof that’s above his head, for not sleeping in an empty stomach and for even smallest but important things such as being able to breathe. Life is not only about the things that we didn’t get, but it is also about the small things that we are blessed with. Be grateful for everything that’s there right in front of you rather than being upset for something that is beyond the clouds and beneath the oceans. Gratitude makes life beautiful!
6. Know that nothing is permanent
Nothing is constant, except for the word constant itself.
Whatever the situation, no matter how bad it is, it is not permanent. For now, this might hurt a lot and you may feel like this is never going to change, but a big no. Nothing last long in the game of life. All you have to do is learn and improve yourself. Consequently, you can change any situation all by yourself with your hard work and effort.
7. Learn to accept rejection
It is better to accept rejection sooner than later. It is very common for you to feel the urge to chase something after you are denied nearing it, but it is not going to help you in any way. Stubbornness is not going to get you anything except for more and more embarrassment and depression.
If someone rejects you, all you can do is accept the reality, let them go and move on. No matter what do not beg for approval. That person is not the only one in the world. Their loss, as they didn’t get a chance to know you completely. It will be really hard to come out of all these if you have any kind of false hope. Instead, look for something more interesting that makes you smile.
8. Strengthen your self-esteem
With very good self-esteem, a person can come out of any kind of horrible situation. Have a passion, stand for what you believe, deal everything with confidence, look into the mirror and love what you see. Once you know your worth, it will be very easy for you to be constructive and learn from even all the small things that happen to you. If so, why not a rejection? You can definitely come out of it.
9. Treat yourself better
Ask yourself, “Are the bad things that I am saying about myself true? Do I really deserve to be treated this way for being rejected by someone? Is being sad and depressed going to change things? Is being angry at myself worth anything? ” You will have the answer for everything all by yourself.
Instead of being harsh on yourself, treat yourself with compassion — make a good cup of coffee for yourself, get some fresh air, listen to good music, eat healthy food, workout and build your body, hang out with your friends, meet new people, travel around, discover new places, pick up a new hobby, meditate for mind peace, buy stuffs such as food or clothes that makes you happy, treat yourself with kindness and no matter what love yourself for who you are, instead of hating yourself for what you undergone and for what people didn’t want you.
10. Consult a counselor
If any of the above things are not helping you, you should definitely meet a mental health counselor. They would definitely give you better support than anybody else.
You can also take up medications such as ibuprofen and Tylenol as it is scientifically proven and believed that painkillers not only help in relieving physical aches but also reduces the effects of emotional. But, consult a doctor about the dosage of medication.
A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.
Instead of taking any kind of rejection personal, try to see the brighter side of everything and rise as a burning phoenix would do. Try even if you are only able to take small steps.
Hope this article helped you to figure out how to get past a rejection.
Also, read our article on How To Be A Better Man.
Do follow my Instagram page where I post short stories to keep you elated — @01cheesenwine.